I knew a girl – I almost said young woman, but, no, she’d prefer girl – who was in the processes of discovering her sexual orientation and her faith. I was the one person in her life she could talk to about what was going on for her. My friend was a well-liked person, who made new friends wherever she went. She wasn’t alone. So why was I the one friend she could confide in? All her queer or queer-friendly friends ridiculed faith as a matter of course. All her Christian friends – she’s a Christian – were openly homophobic. I was the one friend she had who was going to be absolutely supportive of both her emerging sexuality and faith. That’s just sad. I hope, now that we’re not friends anymore, that she’s found other people she can talk to, and ways of living that don’t split her down the middle.
Well, I guess the religious homophobia thing is pretty well covered, so this is me thinking about the other angle. It is very disturbing to me when I encounter sentiment from progressives to the effect that religion is destructive and should be destroyed, or thinking that the pursuit of social justice and religious practice can never meet. Religion is embedded in people’s lives, embedded in culture, and a positive and vital part of them. An aim of getting rid of it sure isn’t progressive, because getting rid of what makes people different isn’t progressive, because taking the sacred from people’s lives is a violation of who they are. There’s nothing progressive about asking people to give up their communities and what is often the core of their lives or being in order to fit in with politics.
It’s disingenuous to act as though there aren’t woman-affirming traditions in even the mainstream Abrahamic religions that some progressives love to hate, as though progressive politics is something brand new and always secular. I think about the feminists of faith I know, who build and engage with amazing theology and work within their communities and in the world as a whole. There are loving and feminist writers of faith who I know only by their words on a screen, like Jay and Nahida. I’ve met religious feminists while simply walking down the street. (That’s a good story, and one I might tell you sometime.)
I find it really repellent that anyone could think that feminism and religious faith must necessarily be mutually exclusive, especially as I’ve met so many whose feminism is utterly grounded in their religious beliefs and practice. There are so many for whom pursuit of social justice is a religious requirement, or for whom these aren’t separate parts of their lives at all.
I don’t think the answer to bigotry is to try and take away from people who they are, something which runs too close to the discrimination people have already faced for being of the wrong faith. Feminism should be expansive. The way I see feminism is that it is about loving humanity in all its variety, in all its faith and non-faith and doubt and ritual and tradition and forging paths. There is so much to love, and so many ways to love. I don’t want to discount anyone’s way of making the world whole.
Thanks *so* much for this. I don’t identify as a feminist for several reasons, but I do have viewpoints consonant with feminism, such as being pro-choice – including the right to *have* children and not have your children taken away by the state, something that’s rarely addressed in mainstream feminism and one reason I left feminism – and opposing misogyny (including against trans women), homophobia, racism, ableism, capitalism, etc.
I’m pretty new to Christianity myself, having converted from Judaism, and I’m finding that my faith informs and strengthens my beliefs and actions. Yes, there *is* woman-affirming, community-affirming, social-justice affirming writing in the Hebrew and Christian bibles and in the Qur’an (which, much thanks to Nahida for making that plain).
I left Feministe over precisely this issue. I was getting tired for being attacked simply for being religious, and tired of getting told that I can’t possibly be a leftist and religious at the same time.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It’s more than the failure of queer, feminist and even disability movements being sometimes non-inclusive, there’s so often casual bigotry towards religious folk. I understand where it comes from – so many of us have been deeply wounded by the prejudices of those who are often the loudest religious voices. We forget that the loudest voice is not necessarily the most representative.
My gripe is with the religious right – the ones who believe that they can dictate to everyone how the world should be and what is and what is wrong.
I love the social justice of Christianity (the religion I have had the most experience with), and what I have heard of the social justice movements in Judaism and Islam.
Chally, I can’t express enough how content I am to read this. You’ve put words to exactly what I’ve been feeling.
(Also I totally just dedicated an entire post to you, if that’s okay. I should have started reading your site earlier…)
Nahida, that is so kind. I will go and read it at once.
I am glad that this is resonating, everyone.
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I’m an atheist, and I have reasons for being an atheist that I will happily explain to anyone who wants to hear them. But I wouldn’t force an explanation of my views onto anyone who wasn’t doing any harm.
The truth is, I really don’t think that religion is a good thing. But your post reminded me that sometimes it’s better to accept people as they are. I hope I would have been able to listen to your friend, and accept her religion as something that was important to her, even if I didn’t agree with it myself.
I think it’s also important for me to say that I would never try to force all feminists to be atheists, or all progressives, or whatever. There’s room for different viewpoints among people who have shared goals.
Chally, this is beautiful. The last paragraph, in particular.
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Chally, I am another Christian feminist…who is often embarassed to call herself Christian because I don’t want people to associate me with people who give Christianity a bad name. I wrote this post earlier this year, about my feminist awakening, on International Women’s Day: http://marie-everydaymiracle.blogspot.com/2011/03/f-word-proud-to-be-feminist.html
Thank you, Chally! I honestly don’t know which is more annoying: Christians telling me I can’t be gay/feminist, or feminists and gay people telling me I can’t be Christian. I’m an atheist-positive Christian (is that a thing? It should totally be a thing), and I think that social justice should be a core belief of both the honest person-of-faith and the honest atheist.
I am afraid I’m going to have to shut this thread down, as I’m getting an influx of commenters making odd assumptions about my religious affiliation and of the “religion is teh stoopid” mindset. I’m glad to have connected with so many other people, of various religious and non-religious persuasions, though!