Bah dum tish.
I’ve been thinking about getting a cane for some time. I am the kind of person who tends to have sensible and practical thoughts, and then spend a lot of time thinking more and more around the thoughts, and do absolutely nothing about them, which is decidedly not sensible or practical. Action: not really my thing. Possibly I really did spend too many of my formative years with my head in books, and could have benefited from that big wide world outdoors I heard so much about.
So: a cane. I had eventually decided against it: I don’t have pain in a consistent spot, and maybe having a cane would exacerbate pain, in my back or shoulders as well as in my legs. Maybe if from time to time I swapped over which hand I used it with, people would think I was faking or acting affected. It would likely cause more harm or bother than good. And with the excruciatingly slow but definitely happening physical progress I’ve been making, it was becoming less and less needful.
But now I’m thinking of the times I really do need some support; I’ve just spent several days with a pronounced limp, and a cane really would have helped. A cane would be useful in other ways, too. On a given day, I might not especially need it for walking, but it would be a useful signifier for related issues. If I needed a seat on a bus, and was worried about being denied one, a cane would hopefully do the trick.
It’d also help with that visibility thing. I do like to mess with people’s ideas of what a person in a particular identity group looks like, and a youthful, skinny lady with a cane should set people’s thoughts going in some unaccustomed directions. And, if I get any “what’s wrong with you”s, I’m not so sufficiently jaded yet that it’d be a hardship to cheerfully smack them down – I find it rather a pleasure at this juncture, really.
It’s a complicated thing, and yet another of those matters I’m overthinking. A cane might be a useful thing to have just in case.
Also, it would be very useful for shaking and saying, “You kids get off my grass!”
I have mixed feelings about the signifier aspect. We shouldn’t demand external verification for people’s disabilities, but the fact is that there is a systemic problem in our society in that respect i.e. people who are able bodied can be very nasty towards people with disabilities, especially if they think that the person with non-visible disabilities is just faking it. People with non-visible disabilities have to deal with that on their own, individually, and it must be very tiring, and wearying. Carrying a cane might help to protect you a bit against some of that.
My experience puts me firmly on the side of “get one just in case”. I have a cane that I only use sometimes, and I do appreciate having it. It’s a tradeoff, for me – using it puts some strain on my wrist, but if it alleviates enough strain on my back or if my balance is being iffy, then it’s worth it. If I’m carrying things or having to wrangle my kid, it can cause chaos; it all depends on the situation, but I’m learning when it’s good to have it and when it’s a hindrance.
I also enjoy messing with people’s preconceptions, and I’ve gotten into some interesting conversations as a result of the cane, generally with older people complimenting me on its design.
I need to actually use mine more. It doesn’t really help if I leave it at home because I dread people asking why I have it. Sigh.
Along with shaking it at the skalliwags, you could dress it up with ribbons and spokey dokes.
I bought myself some American crutches (the ones that hook around your forearm). I don’t use them anything like as often as I should, but I can choose one or both and they largely leave my hands free. And they do get me a seat on the bus.
How I answer impertinent questions very much depends on the day. My legs have stopped working is a reasonably polite (if non specific) answer.
I’ve been thinking of getting one as well, but I’m concerned.
I’m not likely to need it at all on stable ground, though there is some uncertainty with stairs or uneven ground.
But I take the bus home from work, and I’m very likely to need it on a moving bus. (This includes times where the bus driver starts moving before I’m seated or when I need to ask for an accessible seat but fear I will be refused.)
That said, I am not thin and also fear being ridiculed for using a mobility aid “because [I am] too fat,” regardless of whether this is the truth.
I got a cane about a year ago. Before we went to the beach last year, I think. I used the hell out of it during that trip – walking up and down the shoreline with my bright red cane, in a bikini (I am most def “fat” now – well, my “shape” is still skinny, I’m just much thicker). At one point we walked down to the pier, at which place a wedding was being held, and being both photographed and videotaped. There was no way to get past it without being in the pictures, so…someone has some lovely pictures of a fatty in a bikini walking with a cane, now :-) Kind of wish I could get copies.
I mainly use it for balance and for when my back is in a lot of pain (which also throws off my balance). I switch sides a fair bit, though I’ve found I mainly use it with my dominant hand. It helps a _lot_ for long distances – when my main problem is, again, balance. Feeling shaky and “not right.” Not necessarily even pain – just feeling incredibly fatigued and trembly, having trouble staying upright.
I have trouble holding most cane handles – the straight out ones and the curved handle ones. I also have trouble with most canes, period, because the tips are just a small rubber ending on a hard wood/metal cane, and the impact jolts through my whole body. Had I not tried out a few of the canes in the drugstore, around the drugstore, I would not have known this… I settled on the Keen Quest because it has a flexible tip, a spike for icy days, and the kind of handle that fits most comfortably in my hand. And a nifty color. It comes in bright blue and black also.
I think what amuses me most, since I’ve gotten it, is when I use it for a shopping trip, when I’ve parked in a regular parking space, sometimes a fair bit out. Being able to do so, because of the cane. (Walking on my own, I would need the closer handicapped space.) There are people in some of the stores who know me, and see me sometimes with a cane sometimes without – I guess they just have to get used to the idea. Strangely, I’ve thought that if I’m ever in a chair of any kind, I would be too scared to both use the chair, and sometimes get out of it to stand or walk a bit. Scared of other people’s thoughts. Was afraid of same before I got the cane too, but once I got it I found – I don’t really give a shit what other people think. I don’t even care enough to try to challenge their narrow ideas, anymore. I’m just going to do what I need. Sometimes I need it – and savor the visibility. Sometimes I don’t – and that’s fine too.
I’ve used it at the beach, at the warehouse store, at the farmer’s market, at the agricultural fair (VERY hilly) and subsequent concert, at a baseball or hockey game (taking the trolley and walking all over downtown to get to them), and to help me get laundry or shopping bags up the stairs at home. The only place I’ve not used it, so far, is at work, because I’m still working on a few people there – for being a place full of disabled folk, they still see me as a “normal one,” and right now I’m still needing as little drama as possible. It will come in time… fortunately my sups are also very understanding, so I have every accommodation I could need so far, and end up not really needing a cane to help around.
Your comments have been very helpful, all. :)
I think you should get a rainbow cane!
I’ve tried and failed to find one that wasn’t very expensive and far away, as with Canes Canada. Someone suggested I paint one or use stickers.
I haven’t been able to find a stripey rainbow one, but Switchsticks does have the rainbow-coloured bubbles one (I have one!) – pricey, but local. However rainbow stripes would be way cooler.
Another option: wrapping a cane shaft in rainbow ribbon? Like this?
You’re full of options! (lauredhel was the someone mentioned in my previous comment, readers.) :)