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Gentle readers. I wish to introduce you to this blog’s new mascot:
Context: Semicolons are love and a fairy strawberry milkshake is out to get me.
That will be all.
A disability version of Answers I love to/hope to one day give.
Q: What’s wrong with you?
A: The fact that I hang around with ableists like you.
Q: What’s your disability?
A: My business.
Q: You’re looking so much better, aren’t you?
A: I like to think I’m becoming a better person all the time. Glad it’s showing!
Q: Can they fix you?
A: You mean what can they fix me, like for lunch? I’d like a salad with awesome sauce, if there’s any left over from making me.
Q: [Intensely personal question]
A: Please, let me inquire as to all the intimate details of your life.
Q: So do you have sex?
A: Not with you.
Q: How did you get that way?
A: I’m glad you asked. It’s a long story. [Pick one of the following and go for it!]
- Back on the space station in ‘89, I had just discovered the existence of…
- I was designing carpets for television talk shows at the time…
- I ordered a new jacket out of a catalogue actually, but they sent me this instead! It’s funny, really…
- While tracking down manufacturers of obscure bathroom tiles, as was my hobby back then…
- It was just an ordinary day. I was in bed, dreaming about strawberry milkshakes, when a really big milkshake started to speak to me…
[Sort of cross-posted at FWD/Forward]
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”
Sylvia Plath, via Anna at Trouble is Everywhere.
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“I don’t fear death; I fear remaining silent in the face of injustice. I am young and I want to live. But I say to those who would eliminate my voice: I am ready, wherever and whenever you might strike. You can cut down the flower, but nothing can stop the coming of the spring.”
Malalai Joya, who sounds kind of incredible. Do click through. Via Melissa McEwan.
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“Throughout my development, I have felt that pressure, to conform or assimilate to a population more visible, more respected, more feared and envied than mine. And in the past, I have. I dissed my own communities for my own gain, and dealt with the immense wells of self-loathing I harbored for myself and my people. And that temptation, to submit, still exists in me, because really, who wants to be hated for bringing up that loathsome specter called race? Especially for a group of people who are continually told that we have no right to complain, that we should be thankful for what we have?
“A friend of mine just emailed me about this strange phenomenon we face, that we are intensely scrutinized while remaining completely invisible. People talk about us, hate us, and we aren’t expected to ever talk back, fight back. We belong nowhere. We have no rights to anything. Our bodies are not ours, and we have no voices.”
Bao Phi, on being Asian in Minnesota. Read more at Racialicious.
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“All this was much simpler when I only looked up. I looked above me, at those that are oppressing me, and boy was I good at pointing fingers at others and pointing out their privilege. The other day, I royally shoved my cissexist foot into my privileged mouth. And for the first time I looked down, at those below me, those I was oppressing.”
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“For me, being an activist is a way of thinking and engaging in the world. It is not a list of activities. It is a personal decision not to accept things as they are. It is a decision to challenge oppressive ideas and actions – within oneself and in the world around us – in whatever way we are able. And there is NO hierarchy in the different ways in which people do that.”
Turtle, of The Turtle and the Wren, in comments at Raising My Boychick, in response to my post This is what an activist looks like.
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“I’ll only be someone’s inspiration for a speaking fee with 4-5 figures. Inspiration doesn’t come cheap.”
Kaitlyn of Oh Monkey Trumpets in comments on Avendya’s To Whom It May Concern.
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“We’re not martyrs and we’re not saints – we are people. More than that, we are – we exist, and no matter how many times our needs are disregarded, our stories are erased, we refuse to let you define us.”
From To Whom It May Concern itself. Check out Avendya’s DW, I have just found her but she seems to be all kinds of fabulous. (Teenage! Disabled! Feminist! Squeeeeee!)
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“[...] some things are not well defined and these things tend to be the things we consider to be fundamental. It’s much easier to define smaller things at the edges; it’s easy to define a fingernail. It’s harder to point to where blood stops flowing away from the heart and starts flowing back towards it.”
kaninchenzero, writing about intelligence.
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“[...]a trans what? A transformer? Far be it for me to stand against robot-human love.”
Queen Emily, in response to a commenter who said ‘Is it transphobic if a cis person will not date a trans?’ at Feministe.
I went to a Christian girls’ school. Now, not to say that all Christian girls’ schools are run like this, but I’m sure you can guess what the sex ed was like. No sex before marriage for you, girls! (Because you’re getting married, and to men, don’t you know.) You are like a piece of sticky tape: every time you stick yourself to someone, you get more bits of dirt on you until you find you can’t stick to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! Look at these gross pictures of gross sex diseases, eww!
Suffice it to say, we were taught about uteri and fallopian tubes, but not about what this mysterious clitoris was. We weren’t taught about masturbation, or any sort of non-PIV sex, and we only got a hushed ‘and use a condom!’ at the end of the course. We were too embarrassed to look at each other, let alone discuss our fears or excitement or the gaps in our knowledge.
When we were in Year 11, we had a personal development day together with a boys’ school and another girls’ school. We all trooped into the boys’ school and prepared for a day of speeches, much like those we’d been given through school. But part way through, we got a rather unusual speaker who I’d encountered once before, have met once since and have never, ever forgotten. I’ll call her Mary. Mary was a very loud, enthusiastic woman: enthusiastic about teaching us, enthusiastic about being a Christian, enthusiastic about sex. Her manner was pretty full on, going from joyful shouting to (somewhat) hushed prayers. On this particular day, one of these prayers contained, ‘and I thank the Lord for my clitoris!’ Not a Christian myself, I wasn’t in head bowing mode at the time, so I had the opportunity to look around the hall – once I got over the shock that someone actually said that word out loud, that is. Half of my classmates were tensely frozen – particularly the ones sitting near boys – and half of them were whispering to their neighbours. Even though I couldn’t hear any of them, I knew exactly what they were saying. ‘What’s a clitoris?’
Looking back, I shift between describing this moment as hilarious and horrifying. From ‘I thank the Lord for my clitoris’ on through the rest of high school, I made it very clear to my classmates that they could come to me for any information or resource recommendations they might want and I wouldn’t shame them.
What’s a clitoris? It’s a question I’ve had to answer many times since that day, but every time it makes me very sad that I’m the one answering it. It should have been told these young people by their parents and their teachers, not that oddball feminist they know. It should have been taught along with all the other information they were given, through education formal and informal, about their bodies, and relating to people, and information about how the world works. Because whether they’re waiting for marriage or not wanting to have sex ever or already starting out on their sexual lives, young people have the right to information that will allow healthy, informed decisions about their own selves. And it’s terribly sad that young people are so often left to glean this information as best they can.
I think about this kind of sex education and how damaging it can be, causing anxiety and shame where there shouldn’t be, for a start. What kind of educator wouldn’t want their charges to have proper information so they can make up their own minds and run their own lives well? Mine, apparently.
Recommended related reading: Recently I rather enjoyed Que(e)rying Sex Ed by WildlyParenthetical, who teaches a university gender and sexuality course.
When you hear ‘disability’ and ‘funny’ in the same sentence, it’s usually not a good sign. But that’s not always the case.
I thought we could all do with a bit of a laugh and that some of you might enjoy this video. It’s a routine from the very popular Australian comedian and television presenter Adam Hills, who has an artificial leg. Hills doesn’t refer to himself as disabled, but he’s know for talking about disability issues and often having a sign language interpreter at his shows.
I went out with this girl once, we’d been together for a little while, and we got back to her place for the first ever time, and it was that moment of kind of sitting, you know, on the edge of a bed, and she went, ‘ooh, do you want to stay the night,’ and I went, ‘oh, yeah all right.’ She went, ‘Oh, okay, I’ll be back in a second.’ And she walked out of the room. And I sat there going, ‘awww – oh, shit. I haven’t told her. Well now what do I do?’ You know what I mean? Well I can’t wait for her to walk back in and just go, ‘look! [pretending to hold up his prosthetic] It fell off.’ I considered doing a magic trick with a blanket [pretending to flourish a blanket and reveal not having a second leg]. I sat there for ten minutes thinking a) where has she gone for ten minutes? And b) How am I gonna bring this up in conversation? What can she say to which I could naturally respond, ‘really? Well I’ve got one leg!’ [gestures in that direction] I’m not making this up, she came back in the room and went, ‘I’m really sorry, I’ve only got one pillow.’ [pauses for laughter, then repeats gesture] Ta da! She went, ‘ah, that explains it!’ ‘It explains what?’ She said, ‘I spent half an hour at dinner rubbing your foot under the table and you didn’t notice.’
Welcome to the Fifth Carnival of Feminists. I’m Chally, blogger here at Zero at the Bone, and I’m very pleased to be your host for this edition. We’ve got all sorts of fabulous writing of feminist interest from around the world. Let’s get started, shall we?
Objectification
RosieRed23 takes on the bizarre preoccupation with breasts in No boobs for you! posted at Spare Candy. It’s in response to the wailing over Megan Fox not revealing her breasts in new film Jennifer’s Body as well as the fascination with celebrity nudity in general.
Amanda of The Undomestic Goddess writes Esquire: Strike Three. She’s taking on the treatment of women in Esquire: ‘Congratulations, your induction into the world of male lust, and thusly, second-class citizenship, is complete.’
Racialicious’ Thea Lim writes about some imagery that manages to dehumanise both the white woman and the man of colour involved. The post’s called Kanye West: Using interracial sex to sell concert tickets.
Reproductive justice
factcheckme presents a collection of videos related to reproductive rights. The post’s at femonade, featuring Hillary Clinton being full of win and a documentary on the work of the Fistula Foundation in Ethiopia (an amazing organisation I’ve been following for years, see their website).
Over at Feministing we have Rejecting “population control” as a way to fight climate change. Ann thinks that ‘given the history of population policy, to me the only acceptable international family planning policy is one that is motivated by increasing the empowerment and choices for women.’
Parenting
Kate of Rebel Raising has something to say in Is that child crazy? ‘How much of the time are children behaving in the way an adult would if their life were like a child’s life?’
“How Can Feminist Mums Avoid Being Humourless Childhood-Ruiners?” Lauredhel and the Hoyden About Town commentariat have a few things to say on the subject.
Parenting means that boundaries aren’t always as secure as one would want. You can read some of Arwyn’s thoughts on this at Raising My Boychick in Toddlers are triggering.
Violence against women
In “Corrective” Rape Is Not Foreign., piecesofstring takes on the idea that homophobic violence is just a problem “elsewhere”. It’s vital to take this on everywhere it happens.
Cara from The Curvature writes Protecting Your Safety While Speaking Out is Not Irresponsible. It’s in response to feminist assertions that Katie Price should name her rapist.
Women who make false rape accusations *don’t* make it harder on real victims. says SarahMC at the Pursuit of Harpyness. Lots of other factors do.
Angry-making
The Czech gives us an update on Jamie Lee Jones’ incredible and horrific story in Halliburton Gang-Rape *Not* a Work-Related Activity?. I hope she gets the justice she deserves.
Trans-misogyny? There’s an app for that. Helen from Bird of Paradox shares a pretty nasty Apple ad.
The Australian Immigration Department is refusing to grant refugee status to two women who fled Kenya to escape FGM. Natalie at She Speculates writes Fear of Genital Mutilation Doesn’t Warrant Refugee Status in response.
Paid work
Deborah obliterates an opinion piece arguing against women serving on the front line in the Australian military in Look out! Incoming brain-fart!! posted at her blog In a strange land.
In Promoting women is up to the companies, Jemima Aslana at Jem’s Lair discusses workplace gender equality and quotas in Denmark.
As part of her Feminism in Schools series, Ashley of Small Strokes writes Feminism in Schools: Teaching Feminism When You’re Not a Feminist. She discusses both course content and some factors that are less often thought of explicitly.
Illustrations from life
At Catspaw, Lucy talks about her experiences at university as a trans woman, including dealing with fellow students, professors and study material. The post is called I’m (Mostly Not) Coming Out.
Veronica, writing at Viva La Feminista, is wondering about the times when speaking up might make things worse. The post is called My privileged nose & reporting a slap to a baby.
Here are some reflections on (particularly racial) identity, figuring out experience and finding connections: This is [not] who you are by T. R Xands.
Disability
Ouyang Dan writes Where I jump in and defend pills…. Posted at random babble…, it’s a defence of meds and the people who take them in a world in which PWD are shamed for managing their own health.
amandaw hits it out of the ballpark with Domestic violence, C-sections considered pre-existing conditions at three rivers fog. It’s about ableism, healthcare, ableism, misogyny and ableism.
Popular culture
Next up is Disability & Television by Anna Overseas at her blog Trouble is Everywhere. She tackles the, ahem, questionable representations of PWD in Glee and Supernatural.
Laura is pondering Bisexuality on TV? at Adventures of a Young Feminist. Particularly concerned with Thirteen on House, Laura explores both the problematic and the positive.
Language
meloukhia makes a solid argument as to Why Inclusionary Language Matters over this ain’t livin’. Includes a rundown on intersectional feminism.
Chally of Zero at the Bone (what do you know, that’s me!) wants to share what’s Next on the list of things that really annoy me. Namely, progressives using ableist language.
Metafemming
At The Fem Spot, Femspotter writes So what kind of feminist are you anyway?. It’s her ruminations on the different branches of feminism, tied into a discussion of Hillary Clinton and the US election.
Dori of A Truly Elegant Mess has Important Thinky Thoughts. ‘There is a danger in making an identity out of an ideology. It leads to fighting about identities instead of discussing actions.’
A little bit of 101
At Criss writes…, Criss L. Cox presents Emotional Intelligence FAIL: Victim-blaming 101. ‘This is one of the problems in our society, the blame is always on the other guy.’
‘As a woman you can eschew or embrace femininity, but you will be rewarded and punished in equal amounts no matter which option you choose. You can never win.’ Exactly so. You can read the rest of tor’s post femininity: damned if you do, damned if you don’t at adrift and awake.
Not fitting in the patriarchal box
ashinynewcoin writes ticking all the boxes means not talking politics. She’s been thinking on the phrase “high maintenance”.
Marjorie Morgan at Girls Outdoors wants to draw your attention to Freya Hoffmeister. Freya is paddling her sea kayak around Australia, trying to be the first woman and the second ever person to achieve this task. That’s pretty amazing.
Three more for the road
Over at The Bitch Who Roared, Linda Radfem shares The Marriage Thing. It is an institution of which she is not a fan.
The Angry Black Woman wants to know What Do You Do When You Experience or Witness Street Harassment?
Kim Powell of the news with nipples keeps us up to date on the latest in super sciencey laydee studies. Apparently women can’t keep secrets and, well, Women drink so they can’t smell vaginas?.
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Now for an extra bit of fun: Here’s a visual representation of the most common words used in all these posts (including the carnival itself (the meta! it’s too much!)) I made using Wordle.
The folks at WordPress have been having a bit of trouble with links lately, so I predict some of you finding the same. Let me know if you have any problems, please. Thank you for coming by; do stick around and check out my other posts. The next carnival is being held at RMJ’s Deeply Problematic so don’t forget to submit.
That is Bryan Safi, host of Current’s That’s Gay. Now you have a new video person, too!
TV’s Gay Friend Obsession – On the phenomenon of gay men as the accessories of straight women (via Xands).
I think guinea pigs are so sweet. With their cute little paws, furry little bodies, twitchy noses, curiousity, sleepiness and love of eating, they warm my heart and make me smile. Partake in the sharing of the cute with me with these videos!
Guinea pigs exploring a tunnel!
A guinea pig eating watermelon!
I just want to cuddle them all!
The edible ball bearings joke. It will never die.
Here’s a video of a fantastic water thingy in Canal City shopping centre in Japan. It forms patterns in the water: dolphins, stripes, chains, characters, stars, it’s fabulous!
Here is one of the best wedding toasts ever. It’s a musical! The man of honour sent out tapes to all the guests so they could learn their parts and they only had a few chances to rehearse. It’s the most charming thing.
Here’s Catherine Tate’s and David Tennant’s 2007 Comic Relief contribution and it’s very funny. Transcript at Tennant!Love.
Lastly, a clip from The West Wing (subtitles included). Josh and Donna are being their usual lovable selves.
Welcome to the twelfth edition of the Down Under Feminists Carnival. This is a special one as it marks a full year of DUFC goodness, served up to you from around New Zealand and Australia. We’ve had a fabulous lot of blogging over the last year – have you seen QoT’s list of contributors? Wow – as continued with this edition. The carnival has become something of an institution for all of us. I’m honoured to be hosting this first anniversary celebration.
Before we begin, congratulations are in order! Blue Milk just had her baby! On behalf of the Down Under feminist blogging community, Blue Milk, warmest wishes to you and your whole family. We are absolutely delighted for you. All the best for the years ahead.
Perhaps now would be a good time to serve the cake, eh?
(A pink feminist cake! Confusing, isn’t it?)
General Feminism
From Hellonhairylegs we have One Day, a post on what we’re told as children will make us happy as adults.
Andra of Andragy says a lot in a little space with CyberBullying, Feminism, Mean Girls, Queen Bees and Boys. ‘Just for today, I believe that feminism cannot succeed without unpacking the violence of group dynamics and stereotypes both masculine and feminine.’ She shares her experiences as a parent and some reading she’s been doing.
Schroedinger’s Tabby shares some false comparisons between women and men: ‘it’s always about using emotive language to put someone down’.
Caitlin writes about trying to find a label for herself and a place in feminism. You’re not alone in that, Caitlin.
Audrey of Audrey and the Bad Apples blogs a speech she gave on the value of contemporary feminism the world over. A quote: ‘One of the best tools you can give anyone is a sense of belonging and purpose. It’s the hope for a better future – not one which has been handed to you and to which you must resign yourself, but one in which you have had a hand forging.’
Violence Against Women
Ludditejourno posts a list of women and children dead as a result of domestic violence. It’ll stop you in your tracks.
Over at Ideologically Impure, Queen of Thorns tells us why there are no second chances for Tony Veitch.
At I Am Not Cake, Jet writes the powerful Rape Culture: Still Not Funny. You’ll be wanting to bookmark this one.
More from Caitlin, this time at The Dawn Chorus, in Misogyny in Football? Never! At least not according to North Melbourne….
Let’s all say it together, everyone… it’s not sex, it’s rape! Hoyden About Town’s Lauredhel has something to say about strategic remorse.
No doesn’t mean no?! Anna of The Hand Mirror reports on an outrageous defence by the lawyer of a taxi driver convicted in a case of abduction and indecent assault of a passenger.
Class and Economics
AnneE at Elsewoman writes a brief and pointed post about race, gender and unemployment in New Zealand.
Here’s a thoughtful post from Helen from Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony. It’s called The Home ATM is out of order #2: Thinking about schools and is on home equity, education and the economy in Australia.
At The Radical Radish, rayedish talks about Australia’s wage gap and an opportunity for discussion that just shouldn’t have been missed. Presenting Can we talk about this (wage gap) civilly, please?.
Race
More from QoT, writing about the Eskimo lollies issue and New Zealand pride in ”Iconic” might not be the word you’re looking for.
Then there’s the excellent Andrew Bolt, Wajin-looking Koori, Aboriginality, and comments full of lies over at Hexpletive (now cross-posted at HAT). Jo Tamar from Wallaby adds her thoughts on identity and the majority narrative in There’s a reason I don’t read Andrew Bolt. Give them both a read.
Writing and Literature
Mel Campbell at The Dawn Chorus shares some thoughts on the late JG Ballard’s partner and invisible muse, Claire Walsh. It’s an unusual piece for feminist blogging and a good read.
In a thought-provoking reminder of universal sisterhood, Allecto of Gorgon Poisons shares two similar pieces of writing on women’s experience.
Subversion!
Blogging at Musings of an inappropriate woman, Rachel Hills documents an intriguing look into wedding culture by artist Lee Gainer in Why would anyone spend two months’ salary on a ring, anyway?
In an action of momumental win, sajbrfem of Fifty Two Acts made actual feminist cookies. I can’t even pick my favourite.
Parenthood…
Thinking about pre- and post-pregnancy bodies and lives, Spilt Milk writes The new me is the old me is the new me. ‘I’ve been trying so hard to forge my identity as a mother that I’ve let many other parts of my identity slip into obscurity.’ She adds Body and soul, a beautiful piece on reconnecting with her body during and following pregnancy.
aztec-rose of WoLFi TaLEs reminds us of a very important issue that may be pushed aside given the economy. The post’s called Paid maternity leave at risk… of being dumped.
… and Reproductive Justice
Emma at Emervents writes a letter to her MP and Nicola Roxon regarding the Maternity Services Review and improving healthcare in Australia. Over at narrating kayoz, Kirsten also writes to Federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon. It’s an open letter and includes Kirsten’s personal story. Meanwhile, Lauredhel is trying to move the conversation from stat-wrangling towards a reproductive choice perspective.
Western Australian breastfeeding mothers are having a time of it. For Colin Barnett’s assertions regarding breastfeeding, I for one have no words. Lauredhel found some in Mothers Not Human: In The Words Of Our Premier. Emma in Oz has some lovely snark on the same subject. To finish, Georgie of Surprisingly Domestic centres babies in the discussion with the wonderful Why I breastfeed in public.
Trans
At A.E.Brain, Zoe writes a lovely piece called Appearance on valuing appearance and the experiences of late-transitioning trans women. In Another Piece of the Puzzle, she takes a look at a study called “Regional gray matter variation in male-to-female transsexualism”.
Chally (hey, that’s me!) writes Say, we haven’t filled our daily quota of dehumanisation! Let’s go do that then. It’s on a Ninemsn article about Aussie Ladette to Lady, so you know how that’s gonna end.
Media
Could it be feminism in the MSM? Jo Tamar reports.
Oh, Sam de Brito. This time, he’s kindly telling us how to do feminism. Fuck Politeness informs us as to Sargeant Major de Brito’s Great Feminist Battle Plan. In a continution of the ‘guerilla style Media Watch’ we’ve all come to expect from FP, she writes a response to a Miranda Devine piece on Bettina Arndt in What’s good for the gander….
At Larvatus Prodeo, Kim writes “the conclusions are only as good as the original assumptions”. I can’t think of anything to say that won’t spoil your reading!
The Stupid. It Burns.
Mimbles, blogging at Mim’s Muddle, was not alone in being astounded at one Clementine Ford. She writes about it in Quick Hit: Pot, meet kettle.
Meanwhile, Anne serves up some snark to a misguided scientist in Oh, those wonderful males.
In a Strange Land blogger Deborah has been blogging on atheist parenthood. What really raised my blood pressure was when her daughters, having opted out of participating in a school Easter activity, were sent to pick up rubbish. ‘I’m finding it hard not to see that as a punishment for not being Christian,’ says Deborah. The Strange Lands had words with the school. Post here, background here, update here.
The American Academy of Pediatrics, formula feeding, April Fools, and a lesson to be learned in public relations. Here’s Tigtog at Larvatus Prodeo and Lauredhel at Hoyden.
Relationships
Regarding Mel Gibson’s divorce, Deborah says Enough already with calling it “his” fortune. Because nothing Robyn Gibson contributed matters, according to the media.
Richie has a post for us on a webcomic called, wait for it, The Nice Guy. The title pretty much says it all: Do you have that female friend that you’re hopelessly in love with that unloads all her problems on you, only to end up back in the sack with that loser ex that cheated on her with her own sister, leaving you high and dry?
Disability
As usual, Lauredhel has some excellent writing on the subject. Firstly, a quiz on representations of disabled bodies in logos. Hmm, can you tell what’s missing there? She also offers us 101: A note to able-bodied readers, which had me thinking how glad I was that somebody finally said it! It’s about inappropriate centring of abled people in PWD spaces. Lastly, we have Psychiatrists see reasonable adaptations to CFS, label it “cause” and “maladaptation” – as amandaw says in comments, ‘Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.’
Jo Tamar blogs about Dan Savage’s willingness to miss the point regarding the use of the word “retard”. Jo takes this disingenuous behaviour down very well.
I, Chally, opened up about being chronically ill in a series called Not Staying Silent. It consists of Introduction, I hope you know what you’ve done, Claiming the Label, or, conceptualising myself as disabled, Real Problems, Deference, Response and Recovery.
And if you’re looking for more resources on disability activism, the good people at Hoyden About Town did your homework for you.
That concludes the Twelfth Down Under Feminists Carnival.
I had a fabulous time putting it together. Thanks for reading and take care of your lovely selves. See you next time at Demelza’s place (submissions to demelzagf at yahoo dot com where the submissions page is inaccessible), and do consider volunteering to host a future carnival.
For more information, have a look at the carnival homepage.
Enjoy your cake!
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