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Congratulations. You are about to witness one of the more oddly sexualised ads to have graced Australian television in recent years. Although I must say it’s mild compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen come out of Europe. It’s not embedding but you can see it here. It’s the last one and it’s called “Heist”.

Essentially, the ad for Nurofen Plus features a jewellery thief sexily slinking her way through laser beams to get to a diamond. She’s writhing her way through when suddenly – ouch! – she hits a laser beam! She proceeds to gasp and moan as though she’s having a mindblowing orgasm as you’d expect, but Nurofen relieves all that, allowing her to snatch the diamond and escape.

What. The. Inappropriateorgasmyblackcatsuitthinbondebadgirladvertising.

Very reminiscent of Catherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment. Here’s an extract from the film cleverly entitled “Catherine Zeta Jones Wonderful Ass”.

As we all know:

  • Women are baaad, bad little girls.
  • Women are just waiting to sex it up for your (default male ‘your’) viewing pleasure.
  • Women can be fucked from a distance through the marvellous medium of television.
  • Women exist entirely as fuckable bodies.

So we’d all best turn it on for the camera.