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I have had an interesting year. On the one hand, it has been terrible. I had quite had my year’s quota of regular life rubbish by the end of January, but it just kept going on and on. With some things there is resolution, or at least stasis, but others are still up in the air, breathing down my neck, getting under my skin.

On the other hand, I have had to rethink many basics, and this is good. Also terrifying because I am having to renegotiate parts of myself and my life that I thought were constants, even if everything else twisted or changed or went. I am not used to living life in such a way. But it’s so much better than being still and withering.

I am thinking about
limits
relating
pleasure
motivation
release
ties
bodies
ethics
care
forgiveness…
… and healing
pain (physical, existential)
sensation
achievement
contributing
planning
various identity markers

If we change, if everything we know about ourselves changes, then who are we? That is, how are who we were and who we are (or thought and think ourselves to be) the same? Maybe it’s a matter of an essential core. Maybe it’s common experience. Maybe it’s in claiming, knowing, identifying: we are the same.

So I’m going on my way, growing larger and emanating ever more light. I am responsible for going forth, respecting every moment, nurturing myself, nourishing my soul.

I hope you are learning about yourself, changing things as you need to, respecting your boundaries and your need for movement. Love yourself, reader.

If you’ve got any spare thoughts and prayers, I could do with them at some stage over the next week or so… thank you.

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