So, I am sitting here typing to you in the middle of the night, and am I ever going to regret the timing when I wake up, grumble, edit this to within an inch of its life, put the practical elements of my plans in place, and publish this, but I must tell you about developments. I have decided that this self-esteem I keep telling everyone is good for them is a thing I should also obtain, and that I should put myself out there as a writer.

What, you say? I’ve been writing for quite a while there already with my blogs and magazines and that former newspaper column I like to bring out and smugly reference? Well, yes, and it’s been very nice of people at those publications to say that they like what I do and ask me to submit pieces. What I mean is that I would like to do this in a more consistent way, with less of the terror of surely being an imposter who will be eventually found out, and with more of the ‘yes, I am a writer, and I love what I do, and I deserve to get recognised and paid for it, to build a sense of professional identity with it’.

There is always some excuse for not starting (or taking the next step, I guess, in my case): semester has just started again! chronic illness = perpetually exhausted beyond comprehension, Chally! don’t you have to move house for the fourth time in a year in just a few weeks, Chally? And they are good excuses, but they’re not good enough to keep me in a tight little circle of ‘I’m not good enough’ and staring at contributor guidelines until my eyes hurt.

To this end, and towards coming up with the goods regarding my thinking about the devaluation of women’s words, and because I respect people who believe in me, I’m going to start pitching more, and take myself seriously as someone who can do this freelance writing thing.

Self-esteem, gentle readers. As for practical elements, please tell me what you think of my new site (not a replacement of dear ZatB, just a portfolio-type, centralised space) and improvements unto it such as I might render. You can also now add me on my public Twitter account, @ChallyWrites, as well as my existing private one of @ChallyZatB.