I have now been writing Zero at the Bone for five years, can you believe it?
I am typing this one-handed because I have developed bad wrist pain over the last few days: too much knitting and cooking and cleaning and computing and such. I am being forced to slow down and take stock a little. I doubt I will be writing much soon, so here I link to two articles for Global Comment I have written recently: A Powerful Leader, Not Just A “Powerful Woman”: Chile’s Michelle Bachelet Begins Her Second Term and Strong Female Characters? Why Buffy Still Rules.
I’ve been experiencing a lot of anger, lately, in my personal life, regarding people acting in transparently and consciously self-motivated ways rather than ethical ones, and I just can’t understand how striving for ethical conduct isn’t a high priority in a person’s life, because that is so much of what produces a good life. This is not to say that I myself am never selfish or anything like that, of course.
And this is going into two streams of thought for me: a) I must take on board in regards to myself the kinds of ethical behaviour I respect in other people regarding self-care, which isn’t selfishness (taking care of my wrist!!) and b) how much of societally-approved “good conduct” is based on a mainstream, or privilege-backing, set of notions of what is right or normal rather than a particular group’s or person’s actual needs (buck up, woman, and stop being ill/incapacitated/distracted with other concerns, can’t you tell that you are ruining our cause/dinner/comfort?) So many social rules are about preserving a veneer of normativity so we don’t have to engage with real needs or real kindness.
I am trying to resolve how to deal with this anger is ways that are loving and caring to myself, without stewing in it more, but also without just “letting it go” like one more thing to make nice over or I’ll ruin someone else’s comfort. Nurture is the word of the day – perhaps the word through another Gregorian year and another year of dear ZatB.